While I was overthinking sleeping, they stopped making grand gestures. It’s not as if they just decided to, no. They’ve been hurt and disappointed, and so the obvious path was as far away from romance as possible and straight into the arms of minimum viable products… of affection wannabe. Instead of calls, texts. Instead of consideration, ego. Instead of questions and active listening, never-ending stories of self. Instead of planned dinner for two, ad-hoc pizza for one (I already ate, thanks). Instead of time, unkept promises. Instead of effort, priorities excuses. And instead of meaning, emptiness.
Do emotionally unavailable people know that about themselves? Or do they think that, if they can’t stop talking about their own experiences, feelings, and needs, they are creating a connection? If a street is one-way only, can you ever see what’s coming?
You don’t notice how distant that pretty house around the corner is becoming or how you’ve just passed by a playground. You’ve stopped hearing someone else’s voice altogether, but you keep moving away steadily. You’re so busy, too important to see any of that.
Being there for you is the loneliest part of my day.
I share your nights and lazy mornings. You see me. I put smiles on your face like nobody else ever could. You want to do things for me even if you never have to. I am understood and trusted. I am cherished and appreciated. You respect my time and are considerate. We have a real connection. We share the good news and the bad; yours and mine. We have holding hands and attention. Honesty and flowers on no occasion. Long talks about everything. Inside jokes. We cook for each other. You know what I like. You tell me things and ask for my opinion. Listen, you really listen. Hear what I’m saying and ask me what I’m silent about. Think about my day. Wonder how I feel. See me. Keep me close. Make an effort and seek me even when I’m miles away. Bring me home and come home with me. Reciprocate because I always will.
See, that’s often what we miss out on when we’re not paying attention to the person in front of us. They’re building hopes and dreams for two while we’re stuck on one. We dismiss lose before truly knowing, hearing, and seeing what we have. We’re too busy to receive.