There is no shortcut out of fear.
You’ll go for withdrawal or crazy extroversion that is as illusory of a remedy as a free drink. You’ll think that now is all that matters and you’ll scoop in more fun than you can carry. You’ll focus on the few people you’ve always loved and block any new incoming affection. You’ll be implausibly busy. You’ll elevate each smile to the best laugh of your life. You’ll make each conversation about you, because you’re interesting and confident, and able to anticipate and not react to any hint that you’re on shaky ground. You can handle it. You can handle anything.
Except you don’t.
If you are constantly healing, you are never healed.
Your universe was turned upside down and you froze at the implausible impact. You felt once, while sadly without consequence. You loved to love and smile and laugh and see how wonderful another person can be and how interesting and confident you can be together. You wasted time but happily investing it. Your soul was open to faith and leaps and mornings with caffeine. Your fun was indoors, outdoors, high and low, wet and dry, in motion and standstill. You dreamed wide and outwards and rarely immediate.
The dream is dead.
They rang the alarm. You froze at the bucket list they made you give up. You adhered with so much passion to what they left you with, fearful that it too will vanish.
There is no shortcut out of fear, but there is always at least one suitably unrefined road that will take you right to where the dream is alive and worth your every effort.
Long live the dream!