There are moments when you don’t know what to do. You may or may not know what you want, but an inner voice demands change. You think and think again, but you come up with nothing. Any potential action seems capable of causing destruction, pain and guilt, so you exhaust yourself looking for “safe” alternatives.
I always believed that most mundane problems can be solved. But what if the decision to opt for a certain solution is not yours to make? What if you try and try and try until exhaustion to advocate for solutions, but you’re not being heard? Sometimes – I guess we just have to admit it – our voices are not strong enough. Sometimes we’d shout and cry and beg and hit… hoping that we’d penetrate the fears, the insecurities, the egos, the prides, the prejudices, the walls. Sometimes we’d do all that and succeed. But sometimes we’d fail.
When something isn’t right, when we fail or we’re unhappy, why is it that we avoid starting over, turning the page, leaving some things, places, moments and people behind? Why don’t we trust ourselves more? What are we really afraid of? What on earth is our problem with changing something about ourselves, when it implies so little effort compared to the enterprise of changing others? Are we really that weak? Some of us deliberately admit hurting the ones we claim to love, as long as we protect our egos and hold on tight to our convictions. But that can’t be the universal rule of happiness. Nobody wins. Can we see that?
We are weak, aren’t we?